Kaleidoscope Heart
by SarahSwifty13
Summary: Cloud-watching activities and denying of feelings. one-shot. Inspired by Science and Faith by The Script.


**Kaleidoscope Heart **

_Disclaimer: I do not own Austin & Ally or anything you recognise._

…o0o0o0o0o…

Usually, Austin shared Ally's joy. Usually, he felt a warm stirring within his chest when a smile as brilliant as a thousand suns lit up her face. He could not deny how breath-taking she appeared whenever she flashed that picture-perfect smile which brought about a radiant aura. Ally's smile was infectious. But he simply couldn't bring himself to feel happy for her, no matter how hard he tried, not at this moment.

"…I just can't believe Dallas asked me _to prom_," Ally bounced on the spot, barely containing her euphoria. "Thank you so much for teaching me how to dance!"

He almost wished he hadn't. Not after he had spent an entire week preparing and rehearsing his speech in front of his bathroom mirror. Not after he had practiced asking her to said event with Dez pretending to be Ally (his best guy friend even borrowed a dress from Ally, much to the brunette's perplex agreement). Not after he admitted his fondness of her to himself with the help of _'the love whisperer'. _

Jealousy threatened to replace his forced smile, but he fought it, just like how he fought the unpleasant images of her head on _that guy's chest_ Saturday night, out of his mind. Austin shook his blonde head ever so slightly, as if he could literally shake away the haunting images.

If Ally could read his mind, like she always could, she did not comment on his fidgety behaviour. Either that or she was just too ecstatic to notice and for once, he was actually thankful.

He watched her walk – no – skip to pick up her washed-out brown sling bag from where she threw it onto the ground when she came running to share with Austin her wonderful news. He should be happy she was happy. Ever since Elliot left town, he noticed she lost the spring in her step. But it was back. He sighed resignedly just as Ally came bouncing back to him, having ditched her sweater, clutching another fabric in one hand.

"Is this really necessary?" The blonde looked down at the baby blue shirt in his songwriter's hands. Ally held the cotton shirt at arms length, stretching the top so the neat, white block letters – CLOUD WATCHERS – could be seen clearly. She smiled excitedly as she extended her arms towards Austin, waiting for him to put on the shirt. His arms remained folded and he stood in front of her stubbornly, unwilling to take it from her.

"We can be twinsies!" She sang, as if that was the best offer no one could refuse. Her smile grew wider as she waved the shirt around to entice him, revealing a replica fitted comfortably on her torso.

Eventually, he gave in, pulled his yellow shirt over his head, dropped it onto the grass and took the shirt from an elated Ally. He scrunched his nose as he looked down at himself, tugging at the neck uncomfortably. It was too tight, though Ally did not seem to notice as she wrapped him in a bear hug with the widest grin plastered on her face. He chuckled at how easy it was to make her happy before following her to the nearby make-shift table (it was really just three plastic stools pushed together to form a long bench) they had set up in his front garden.

Ally picked up her pencil and notebook before sitting crossed-legged on the cloud-patterned picnic mat which she had specially ordered for her cloud-watching club. "Here," She said, handing him a thick laminated book she borrowed from said club yesterday as Austin settled down beside her, his legs stretched out before him. Austin gawked at the laborious book which read _'Skywatcher's Cloud Chart'_ on the front cover, immediately afraid to turn the pages. He had never read – or held – a book this scary-looking throughout his entire education. And certainly, he had never thought it would be Ally to put _such a horrific thing_ in his hands, for he knew she knew his distaste for reading, or anything 'educational' at that.

"There are pictures behind," Ally sighed in response to Austin's expression, reaching over to flip it gingerly, her dainty fingers brushing his thigh as she did so. Beautiful pictures documenting the different clouds splayed before him. Creases appeared between his eyes as he read the captions below the pictures. He snickered, eliciting a quizzical look from Ally. "Cumulus?" He pointed to a picture of clouds developing vertically. "That sounds like a Zalien."

Ally rolled her eyes and thrust her matching blue binoculars at him. "Okay Austin, what do you see?" She inquired, writing down the weather conditions in her best handwriting at the top of her science notebook.

"A big white puffy thing." He deadpanned, arching an eyebrow as he lowered his binoculars.

"Come on, you're not even trying."

"Why are we doing this again?" He sighed, deliberately loudly, squinting up at the azure sheet above, dotted with white cottony puffs.

"Because you need the extra credit and this is fun," She replied matter-of-factly. "That one looks like Dallas." She giggled, pointing her pencil to one of the hundred similar-looking clouds floating above.

Austin frowned at it, "No it doesn't," his words came out harsher than he intended and quickly, he added, "that's clearly a snowman eating marshmallows."

Ally made the sound of a buzzer indicating he was incorrect, mouthing 'wrong'. And because he was Austin, and because she was Ally, he found that particularly adorable. He resisted the urge to boop her nose, a habit he had recently developed (which Dez thinks is an excuse for touching Ally, to which he denied vehemently, his voice all high and unnatural).

"But clouds are nowhere near our syllabus!" He protested, rolling his eyes. "I can't believe you managed to convince Ms. Suzy of your proposal for this assignment."

"Hey, by picking something I'm familiar with, I'm helping you to ace this! If you don't pull up your grades this term, your parents will probably forbid you from performing at this year's Miami Music Festival." Upon being reminded on his very possible grounding, Austin snapped his head back to the clouds, staring at them intently.

"What cloud is… that one to your right? Just give me the basic cloud shape."

Austin followed her line of vision, his eyes darting from the cloud to the book and back for a few moments.

"Stratus?" He identified unsurely, looking to Ally for affirmation.

Ally clapped her hands together excitedly and squealed, "Yes! As you can see, it's below six thousand feet. Alright, I need you to imagine a transect encompassing about… 120 of its radius, and count the number of Altostratus."

…o0o0o0o0o…

He was almost done with his rough sketch of the group of cirrus drifting South-East when he felt Ally tap his shoulder.

"Cumulonimbus," Ally warned and Austin shot her a clueless look. His unspoken question was soon answered as the first few drops fell from above, trickling down his notebook. He wiped the droplets off hastily as Ally hurried to gather their materials and headed for the front porch.

"Thanks," She muttered, receiving the cup of tea from Austin. He watched her lips form a small 'o' as she blew the steam before sipping at her tea. He'd been doing that a lot lately-watching her, especially when she was caught up in the moment, such as now. Sometimes he wondered if she was aware for he hardly bothered doing so inconspicuously. Her face was upturned towards the grey blanket above, her eyes changing from teak to amber yellow in the light, never leaving the clouds. The contours of her fair complexion stood out as the sunlight streamed through the nimbuses. He watched her lean back against the rattan chair, the porcelain cupped snugly in her delicate hands.

They listened to the rhythmic pelting of the rain on the roof for a while, embraced in silent content.

"Isn't it divine?" She sighed in awe, breaking him out of his trance.

"The grey mass floating above our heads? Sure," He chuckled, still watching his songwriter. "I prefer when the sun isn't blocked."

"But it never really is, Austin," She said gently, putting down her cup of tea. "Don't you see the silver linings? The light will always manage to break through the clouds. The sight of it outlining the clouds is just…just electrifying."

He felt the corners of his mouth lift as he observed her wonderstruck face.

"You can even recreate this effect with a naked light bulb by tracing its edges with your eyes till you go temporarily blind, you know. I've tried it; its way cool." She assured him, bouncing ever so slightly in her seat in excitement.

He quirked his eyebrows, finding her adorkable-ness (yes, that is a word. Well, in Austin's dictionary for Ally, it is) emanating from her being, pushing out every other thought. "So you believe in silver linings." He stated.

"Of course, don't you, Mr. my-favourite-colour-is-yellow?"

He shrugged casually, to which Ally placed her hand on his knee and asked, concern colouring her voice, "You're still thinking about Cassidy, aren't you?"

Actually, he wasn't. Not up till she mentioned her name. He was trying to find hope in Ally's words. Hope that he might still stand a chance against _that guy who shall not be named_. Sure he was upset when Cassidy had to leave for LA when things were going so well between them. But after Cassidy's departure, he realised how much he had neglected his friends when he had a girlfriend. Dez also made sure Austin knew about Ally's lack of inspiration to write music when he was busy hanging with Cassidy.

'_Dez, 'the love whisperer'', _Austin thought. It's his entire fault for the sudden mix of feelings he felt spreading throughout his core whenever Dez insisted he _liked_ Ally. It's all Dez's fault for making him feel confused about his feelings for the brunette searching his face with worried eyes right now. It's all Dez's fault he's trying to fight the urge to express his fondness _of Ally to Ally_.

"Dez told me you haven't been sleeping well recently…" She continued, measuring his silence.

'_This is all Dez's fault; yes, it is,' _He thought. _'And yes Ally, did he also mention that the reason for me losing sleep is because I've been thinking about all the things that we could be?' _He imagined himself saying that to the girl seated beside him then realised how cliché it sounded, even not aloud, even to himself. But hey, it was the truth. Since he had not mustered his courage to express his…feelings, yet, Austin seized the excuse Ally had provided him with.

He nodded fervently and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "What do you think of love, Ally?"

Austin's eyes widened upon hearing what he had just spouted. '_Wait. What? Wasn't I going to change the subject? _'He cursed himself inwardly. Apparently, he was not the only one startled by his outburst.

"Erm… besides the fact that _I love love_, I think it's the greatest gift in the world," She answered, slightly puzzled and surprised by his random question.

His could hear his heart beating a mile a minute and he feared she could too. His hands felt clammy and suddenly, he became very aware of the weight of Ally's hand on his left knee. He pushed himself off the chair and begun pacing back and forth in an attempt to clear this slip he made.

"You…you told me before that….chemistry." He stuttered, trying to convey his thoughts coherently. She waited patiently, blinking those big doe eyes at her best friend who seemed to be acting really weird at the moment.

"Chemistry was your other option, wasn't it? If you ever gave up song writing," he paused mid-pace, standing directly in front of her. Seeing her affirm with a nod, he shot out the next thing he could think of before she could speak, "But why science?"

"Because duh, it's totally fun! And I just love the subject."

"Love is like science, don't you think?" He sputtered, rocking on his heels. He shoved his fists into his pockets. He could understand the confused look Ally was giving him because he himself was unsure what he was getting at. His mind was just a mess; his emotions weren't doing any better, all scrunched up into a big blob of blah.

"Are you…are you feeling alright, Austin?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? But you believe that don't you? What does love even mean? The only logical explanation to explain such an incomprehensible emotion is science." He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated at the feelings he was feeling but could not express, for fear of so many things, the main thing being him ruining their friendship.

"Austin, we both know that's not true. The things we feel cannot be… broken down to man-made theories. And why would you think that?"

"Because _I need an explanation_ and just last week you said science always held the answers. It has to be. Or else love fails to make sense." He knew all too well he was just trying to be defiant. He was trying to challenge what he knew to be the truth. He sounded exasperated.

"It isn't supposed to Austin," Ally replied, frowning. She was genuinely concerned about the blonde for she had never seen him behave so oddly. "You can't find a fixed definition of love nor a concept to explain raw emotion. Love isn't a structured subject. It isn't stagnant or rigid. It's liberating and rejuvenating and sometimes disallows you from thinking straight, but in retrospect, it is the best innate ability anyone can have. It's just something you feel in your soul. In here." She placed her hand where her heart lay.

"What about unreciprocated love, huh Ally?" He challenged, swallowing the lump forming in his throat, thinking about the impossible. She was so close yet so far, another thing that he could not wrap around his head. He was _this_ close to speaking his mind. To confessing his… he dared not think it, for fear his thoughts might suddenly become audible.

Ally shook her head, making her brown curls bobble around her neck. For one, she could not comprehend where all this was coming from. She wrecked the 'Austin Department' in her brain for something; anything. From what she could remember, his relationship with Cassidy was a mutual one. Everything was fine. And for another, she was stumped. Not only by his question, but Austin himself. When did he get so…difficult? She could always read him like an open book and now, out of the blue this…this crazy, unusual behaviour shows. Wasn't he supposed to be a romantic her father had always called him? But the boy that stood before her now was not who she had always known. Not the Austin who would choose to see Shakespeare over Swamp Bride any day (without letting most people know, of course).

It was working, Austin could tell. She was speechless, distracted; just what he had hoped for. He could detect the uncertainty in her eyes, the confusion written all over her face. Austin thought for sure Ally was growing weary.

"Just trying to find a meaning for the things that we believe in, Als," He leaned against the railings, shrugging. "Love is an illusion of a hopeless heart. Nobody can deny that." He sighed a little too loudly, picking at the peeling paint of the fence.

"Stop talking like an infatuated Romeo. You won't find faith or hope down a telescope. You won't find heart and soul in the stars. You can break everything down to chemicals, but you can't explain a love like ours."* The petite brunette smiled up at him as she spoke confidently.

Of all of the things that Ally Dawson had ever said, those lines took all the gusto out of Austin Moon, leaving him at a loss for words.

The last few words though, were what caught him off guard. His heart skipped a beat again and he stood riveted. "A love like ours?" He croaked, clearing his throat as he repeated her words, his eyes searching hers.

'_Was it just my imagination or did Austin seem almost…hopeful?' _Ally wondered. Her mind went back to when Trish kept insisting there was something going on between the two of them ever since she overcame her stage fright by singing a duet with Austin at the school's talent show. She returned his gaze, feeling a bout of nerves erupting from within, the swarm of butterflies flooding her stomach, the heat creeping up her neck.

'_No. This is wrong. I cannot feel this way about Austin. We're partners,' _She mentally scolded herself for even entertaining such delusional thoughts. _'And besides,' _she reminded herself_, 'Dallas.' _She repeated his name like a mantra, like it was the resolution to her internal conflict.

"Yeah…" She cleared her throat and spoke louder. "Like how I love Trish and Dez. You are all my best friends." She beamed.

"Oh. Right," His face fell, though Austin tried his hardest to hide it. He let go of a breath he did not know he was holding. The tension in the air that they were previously unaware of was still palpable.

"You know I was just…saying all that for my own amusement, right?" He joked, scratching his head awkwardly.

Ally nodded a bit too quickly and vigorously, forcing out an uncomfortable laugh. She winced at how unnatural it sounded. "Shall we…uh…finish the project?" She asked, noting that the rain had ceased.

"Yep, here let me," Austin proceeded to gather the materials, grateful for the subject change.

Their hands brushed as he took the book from her but silence enveloped them, neither willing to bring back the awkwardness, both pretending they felt nothing.

"We need to get a picture of you in this shirt, Moon. Who knows when I'll ever see you in this again." She poked his chest, her melodious laughter breaking the tension.

As he watched her set up their stuff, he realised that she always knew how to make things better; she always seemed to have the right words. He realised that being his best friend was all he could ever ask for, all he could ever ask of her right now. And for a split second, he was glad he did not do anything to change that.

Because that's what she did best.

…o0o0o0o0o…

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! I don't own Science and Faith* by The Script or Counting Stars by OneRepublic, both of which inspired this one shot which I'm not satisfied with and yes, I'm aware this story doesn't make much sense… meh. I might remove this? Oh and cloud references goes to Google and The Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick, which by the way, is a good read. (Disclaimer for everything is above). As for the title of this one shot…uh idk, couldn't think of an apt one. Please review (:**

**Lovelovelove,**

**SarahSwifty13**


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